The Privilege of Love

Time seems to be flying as these last weeks approach, and although I
may go into detail of what exactly I have been up to, I first want to
try and express some perspectives I have gained--if I can find myself
able.

During this experience, amongst the drama and chaos that became what
seemed like a soap opera in Mityana, it has been difficult for me to
really reflect and even understand the culture I have been a part of
for several weeks. I felt as though I was coasting through troubled
waters without even taking the time to acknowledge the waves and only
focusing on that piece of land ahead of me.

One thing I think I have recently realized is how fortunate many of us
are to have the privilege to care and to love. We are able to dig deep
inside of ourselves and create vulnerabilities in our hearts that
embrace and allow for genuine passion and emotion to be given towards
another human being. I think many of us often believe that these types
of feelings are innate human qualities, but I find myself begging to
differ. I do believe that we are all capable of expressing and feeling
the deepest kind of love and care towards one another, but what if we
have to first focus on surviving? First focus on eating, getting an
education, making something of ourselves in an environment that tells
us we may not be able to escape? Are we then truly capable of taking
the time to open our hearts in the way of care and the way of love?

What has made me think of this is not that love isn't present in this
country or culture, but that love is not at the forefront of most
actions. Finding a means to survive and finding a means to be accepted
in some way seems to be the focus. In a way, the concept of love is
almost unknown in many circumstances. To us, to a society that has a
fascination with love, this almost seems like an impossible
exaggeration. But it makes me think of how lucky I have been to have a
family who taught me how to love in every part of my life. How blessed
I am to have made myself vulnerable to all the types of love there is,
knowing that there is a reason we should continually care for one
another no matter what. When you aren't brought up knowing the
importance of such a feeling, can you be blamed for not seeking it?

Secondly, the importance of positive reinforcement has been an ever
present thought through this experience. A lot of the culture thrives
on authoritarian practices, especially within the school system. From
what I have observed, instead of being taught how to learn, the
students are taught how to come up with the right answers in order for
their teachers not to punish or chastise them. There are a lot of
practices that make most of the students hesitant to answer or even
talk, as they have been socially humiliated or scolded for producing a
wrong answer in the past. Through my teaching, it has been really
important for me to try and express the importance of trying and
knowing that getting a wrong answer isn't a bad thing, but something
that shows you are putting effort into learning and making
improvements. If students are being taught by negative reinforcement,
it seems like the true power of education and the culture of learning
is lost.

Finally, I have learned the importance of accountability and taking
initiative. As many people have expressed here, a lot of things in
this country are grounded in great theory and strong ideas are
continually developed. Many things are lost in the transition from
theory to action. If there is no follow-up, if there is no initiative
taking place to make these theories a reality, where will improvements
come from? It is so important to have those markers in your life,
whether through other people or your own internal motivations, that
remind you of your passion and what you are meant to do. We can talk
about our dreams and aspirations for days on end, but if we aren't
going to do anything about them, can they really be considered
aspirations?

I feel many parts of me have become more grounded upon these
observations, and I am sure there are many other things that I am
still not yet aware of. I do wonder how all of this will impact my
actions upon my return, and I might be one step ahead of myself in
thinking to those results.

It has been a whirlwind of a month and I continually find myself
taking a step back and trying my best to remind myself to evaluate and
really understand this experience I am within.

But, to end on a less serious notes, here are some more "funny" Uganda
happenings:

1) Celine Dion is majority of people's favorite artist (many of the
trucks play the Titanic theme song)
2) African time seems to be contagious. Not sure if I mentioned it
before, but if something is planned for the day, you add a few hours
on to when it's actually going to happen. If it's planned for the
week, add on a few days. The team here seems to be major fans of this
African time, and I'm not hating it as much as I used to.
3) Another board member of Childline was arrested this weekend... wish
I was kidding. He was allegedly also working with the Director and
embezzling funds. I guess this one isn't so funny... but we have all
had to turn it into a joke to make it seem not as bad. Even though
it's kind of horrible.
4) No one in the village seems to be able to pronounce my name, so my
second name has now become Ashla. Or Ashwey. Or Assley. Take your
pick.
5) Everyone here loves to play cards, but they only know one game. And
it's called Cards. It's crazy because seriously everyone, in whatever
village, town, or what have you, knows this game. So the only way to
play cards is to play Cards.
6) Instead of saying "welcome back" whenever we get back from working,
everyone says "We'll be back." We've tried to help them out with this
one, but it doesn't seem to translate. Also, just impersonating each
others accents has been entertainment in and of itself.

That's all I have for now--can't believe I'll be back in the States in
two weeks.

Sulabalunge!