Good afternoon ashleyhilmer uganda!
Sunday, April 17, 2022
Ashleyhilmer
https://www.google.com/search?q=ashleyhilmer.uganda@blogger.com
ashleyhilmer
Ashleyhilmer
from: ashleyhilmer
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Hi ashleyhilmer
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ashleyhilmer@gmail.com
Sent from my iPhone
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ashleyhilmer@gmail.com
Sent from my iPhone
Safe Joruney
Thursday, July 11, 2013
It started and ended with a take off.
In Uganda, a common phrase or farewell greeting is "Safe Journey." As I sat in the airport waiting to board one of the flights that would lead me home, I began to think about the journey I have been on. And the journey that everyone else around me was on and has been on.
At the end of the day, we're all on journeys that we hope will lead to some final destination. Whether that destination is literally making it somewhere like home, or that destination is one of fulfillment; a sense of accomplishment, a measure of success, or a filling of the heart. And as we all have these many unique, individual, and sometimes undefinable destinations, we take countless and different paths to get there. And along these paths, we simultaneously influence and impact the journey of the people in which we encounter.
So, what was the final destination of this trip? What was my path to get there, and what made this time a distinct moment in the larger journey of my life? Furthermore, who was I to impact or change the course of the many journeys of others that I found along the way?
I think for me, my final destination might be one that is still undefinable. But, there are a few things I did gather along the way.
1. I believe beauty can be found anywhere as long as you search for it.
There are a lot of skeptics and critics of Africa, more specifically around the aid given to Africa. But, I think what is lacking from the worldview of this continent is our collective inability to look for the good and beauty that is there. There is such a focus on the unspeakable and unfathomable conditions of its countries, which are absolutely present, but there are also beautiful people, landscapes, and countless opportunities that are waiting to be noticed and heard. Yet never spoken of or captured. Yet never cultivated or strengthened.
Whenever we were going somewhere, we were always packed likes sardines in our car, taxi, or boda boda (motorcycle). We were so bunched up that one could really only see one side of the road. You could only look through one window or turn one way because the circumstances blocked your view of exploring and searching elsewhere. Yet, whenever we did get those opportunities to see the full view, I could always find something new and exciting. Something beautiful and revealing. Something that came from the effort of a simple search.
If we took the time to truly search for those pieces of Africa and Uganda that can be put together to create something beautiful, and not just look out one window, I believe the country and continent would flourish. And it's not just people from the outside, but also it's residents. If there was more of an effort to appreciate and notice what can be done and what is already present to do, I could only hope there would be a positive change.
2. No matter how much we sometimes don't want to believe it, there is always an explanation.
I will admit, there were a lot of really crappy things that happened on this trip. Like I have mentioned many times, I met some of the most beautiful people, but I also met some of the ugliest. The director of Childline and basically all of the Board members of Childline did some very terrible things. Some agencies and leaders were misguided and abusing their positions.
But, I know for some reason, all of these bad things had to happen. Whether getting John (the director) fired meant other volunteers would not be scammed and the students would actually start getting their school fees, or it meant John himself would finally realize the misguided mission he was running under, we had to be the ones to discover it. We had to be the ones to experience and realize the ugliness that does often exist.
Furthermore, not that there is anything excusable about such actions, but I don't know the backgrounds, lives, and journeys of these people. I can only hope there was something in their past or present that had such a strong influence that made them act in a certain way. I'll never know, but I can always remind myself of the greater influence that always exists around us and in our environment.
3. We have an incredible ability to influence the lives of each and every person we encounter in everything we do.
This thought has always been one of my life-guiding mantras, but I was reminded of it on this trip nonetheless. As I was preparing to come to Uganda, everyone always said I was going to impact so many lives and make such a difference with what I was doing. And that's pretty much the basic theme underlying international volunteering.
But, do I think I changed the world and made a huge difference? No.
What I do think is that I was able to provide care, love, and an encouraging environment to a wonderful group of students. That I was able to teach in a school that literally had no teachers. That for two months, I at least was able to make someone who was completely different from me, someone who came from an opposite background and life, smile. Laugh. Even just get excited that they could say that they saw a muzungu (white person).
So when I believe that we have the ability to influence the lives and journeys of others, it is because every simple lesson, P.E. class, game, and simple moment does provide those little moments in life that we all need. And that is where we can provide sustainability. In guiding ourselves in a way that seeks to bring light to others in the little things we do. Every day.
You don't need to fully change something to say you did something good. But you can provide all that you have, even for a short amount of time, to provide that positivity for even just a moment. Because two months in the grand scheme of life is just one moment.
Before I land, I hope to take these understandings with me wherever I go next.
I hope to take the memories of crazy Childline Board meetings, Luganda lessons with Joan, hilarious stories from Denis, the best meals with Emma and Joyce, speaking the only Luganda words we knew to make Chance and Phiona laugh, SOVHEN bonfires, P.E classes, my P5 little nuggets, the entire primary school, and so many other things with me.
I hope to hear about P7 passing their exams, Joan, Phiona, and Chance surviving and living a healthy life with HIV, hear that more teachers were hired at the primary school, how the Trio students still play our games, and hear that the maternity clinic is finally finished.
It's hard to capture so many things that happened in such a short amount of time, but that always seems to be how life goes, isn't it?
It's a shock for me to actually be home, to travel for 24 hours and instantly be dropped back into my life. I am so amazed to have a life filled with so much love the moment I arrived, and I could not express more thanks.
As I move on to another moment, journey, and destination, I will carry Uganda with me. Through the good and the bad. The happy and sad. And everywhere in between.
In Uganda, a common phrase or farewell greeting is "Safe Journey." As I sat in the airport waiting to board one of the flights that would lead me home, I began to think about the journey I have been on. And the journey that everyone else around me was on and has been on.
At the end of the day, we're all on journeys that we hope will lead to some final destination. Whether that destination is literally making it somewhere like home, or that destination is one of fulfillment; a sense of accomplishment, a measure of success, or a filling of the heart. And as we all have these many unique, individual, and sometimes undefinable destinations, we take countless and different paths to get there. And along these paths, we simultaneously influence and impact the journey of the people in which we encounter.
So, what was the final destination of this trip? What was my path to get there, and what made this time a distinct moment in the larger journey of my life? Furthermore, who was I to impact or change the course of the many journeys of others that I found along the way?
I think for me, my final destination might be one that is still undefinable. But, there are a few things I did gather along the way.
1. I believe beauty can be found anywhere as long as you search for it.
There are a lot of skeptics and critics of Africa, more specifically around the aid given to Africa. But, I think what is lacking from the worldview of this continent is our collective inability to look for the good and beauty that is there. There is such a focus on the unspeakable and unfathomable conditions of its countries, which are absolutely present, but there are also beautiful people, landscapes, and countless opportunities that are waiting to be noticed and heard. Yet never spoken of or captured. Yet never cultivated or strengthened.
Whenever we were going somewhere, we were always packed likes sardines in our car, taxi, or boda boda (motorcycle). We were so bunched up that one could really only see one side of the road. You could only look through one window or turn one way because the circumstances blocked your view of exploring and searching elsewhere. Yet, whenever we did get those opportunities to see the full view, I could always find something new and exciting. Something beautiful and revealing. Something that came from the effort of a simple search.
If we took the time to truly search for those pieces of Africa and Uganda that can be put together to create something beautiful, and not just look out one window, I believe the country and continent would flourish. And it's not just people from the outside, but also it's residents. If there was more of an effort to appreciate and notice what can be done and what is already present to do, I could only hope there would be a positive change.
2. No matter how much we sometimes don't want to believe it, there is always an explanation.
I will admit, there were a lot of really crappy things that happened on this trip. Like I have mentioned many times, I met some of the most beautiful people, but I also met some of the ugliest. The director of Childline and basically all of the Board members of Childline did some very terrible things. Some agencies and leaders were misguided and abusing their positions.
But, I know for some reason, all of these bad things had to happen. Whether getting John (the director) fired meant other volunteers would not be scammed and the students would actually start getting their school fees, or it meant John himself would finally realize the misguided mission he was running under, we had to be the ones to discover it. We had to be the ones to experience and realize the ugliness that does often exist.
Furthermore, not that there is anything excusable about such actions, but I don't know the backgrounds, lives, and journeys of these people. I can only hope there was something in their past or present that had such a strong influence that made them act in a certain way. I'll never know, but I can always remind myself of the greater influence that always exists around us and in our environment.
3. We have an incredible ability to influence the lives of each and every person we encounter in everything we do.
This thought has always been one of my life-guiding mantras, but I was reminded of it on this trip nonetheless. As I was preparing to come to Uganda, everyone always said I was going to impact so many lives and make such a difference with what I was doing. And that's pretty much the basic theme underlying international volunteering.
But, do I think I changed the world and made a huge difference? No.
What I do think is that I was able to provide care, love, and an encouraging environment to a wonderful group of students. That I was able to teach in a school that literally had no teachers. That for two months, I at least was able to make someone who was completely different from me, someone who came from an opposite background and life, smile. Laugh. Even just get excited that they could say that they saw a muzungu (white person).
So when I believe that we have the ability to influence the lives and journeys of others, it is because every simple lesson, P.E. class, game, and simple moment does provide those little moments in life that we all need. And that is where we can provide sustainability. In guiding ourselves in a way that seeks to bring light to others in the little things we do. Every day.
You don't need to fully change something to say you did something good. But you can provide all that you have, even for a short amount of time, to provide that positivity for even just a moment. Because two months in the grand scheme of life is just one moment.
Before I land, I hope to take these understandings with me wherever I go next.
I hope to take the memories of crazy Childline Board meetings, Luganda lessons with Joan, hilarious stories from Denis, the best meals with Emma and Joyce, speaking the only Luganda words we knew to make Chance and Phiona laugh, SOVHEN bonfires, P.E classes, my P5 little nuggets, the entire primary school, and so many other things with me.
I hope to hear about P7 passing their exams, Joan, Phiona, and Chance surviving and living a healthy life with HIV, hear that more teachers were hired at the primary school, how the Trio students still play our games, and hear that the maternity clinic is finally finished.
It's hard to capture so many things that happened in such a short amount of time, but that always seems to be how life goes, isn't it?
It's a shock for me to actually be home, to travel for 24 hours and instantly be dropped back into my life. I am so amazed to have a life filled with so much love the moment I arrived, and I could not express more thanks.
As I move on to another moment, journey, and destination, I will carry Uganda with me. Through the good and the bad. The happy and sad. And everywhere in between.
Joan (Little Miss Uganda)
P7
My little P5 Nuggets
The clinic and under-construction maternity clinic
Trio
Our Mityana Family
Chance/Magret
Phiona (left) and Chance
The Privilege of Love
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Time seems to be flying as these last weeks approach, and although I
may go into detail of what exactly I have been up to, I first want to
try and express some perspectives I have gained--if I can find myself
able.
During this experience, amongst the drama and chaos that became what
seemed like a soap opera in Mityana, it has been difficult for me to
really reflect and even understand the culture I have been a part of
for several weeks. I felt as though I was coasting through troubled
waters without even taking the time to acknowledge the waves and only
focusing on that piece of land ahead of me.
One thing I think I have recently realized is how fortunate many of us
are to have the privilege to care and to love. We are able to dig deep
inside of ourselves and create vulnerabilities in our hearts that
embrace and allow for genuine passion and emotion to be given towards
another human being. I think many of us often believe that these types
of feelings are innate human qualities, but I find myself begging to
differ. I do believe that we are all capable of expressing and feeling
the deepest kind of love and care towards one another, but what if we
have to first focus on surviving? First focus on eating, getting an
education, making something of ourselves in an environment that tells
us we may not be able to escape? Are we then truly capable of taking
the time to open our hearts in the way of care and the way of love?
What has made me think of this is not that love isn't present in this
country or culture, but that love is not at the forefront of most
actions. Finding a means to survive and finding a means to be accepted
in some way seems to be the focus. In a way, the concept of love is
almost unknown in many circumstances. To us, to a society that has a
fascination with love, this almost seems like an impossible
exaggeration. But it makes me think of how lucky I have been to have a
family who taught me how to love in every part of my life. How blessed
I am to have made myself vulnerable to all the types of love there is,
knowing that there is a reason we should continually care for one
another no matter what. When you aren't brought up knowing the
importance of such a feeling, can you be blamed for not seeking it?
Secondly, the importance of positive reinforcement has been an ever
present thought through this experience. A lot of the culture thrives
on authoritarian practices, especially within the school system. From
what I have observed, instead of being taught how to learn, the
students are taught how to come up with the right answers in order for
their teachers not to punish or chastise them. There are a lot of
practices that make most of the students hesitant to answer or even
talk, as they have been socially humiliated or scolded for producing a
wrong answer in the past. Through my teaching, it has been really
important for me to try and express the importance of trying and
knowing that getting a wrong answer isn't a bad thing, but something
that shows you are putting effort into learning and making
improvements. If students are being taught by negative reinforcement,
it seems like the true power of education and the culture of learning
is lost.
Finally, I have learned the importance of accountability and taking
initiative. As many people have expressed here, a lot of things in
this country are grounded in great theory and strong ideas are
continually developed. Many things are lost in the transition from
theory to action. If there is no follow-up, if there is no initiative
taking place to make these theories a reality, where will improvements
come from? It is so important to have those markers in your life,
whether through other people or your own internal motivations, that
remind you of your passion and what you are meant to do. We can talk
about our dreams and aspirations for days on end, but if we aren't
going to do anything about them, can they really be considered
aspirations?
I feel many parts of me have become more grounded upon these
observations, and I am sure there are many other things that I am
still not yet aware of. I do wonder how all of this will impact my
actions upon my return, and I might be one step ahead of myself in
thinking to those results.
It has been a whirlwind of a month and I continually find myself
taking a step back and trying my best to remind myself to evaluate and
really understand this experience I am within.
But, to end on a less serious notes, here are some more "funny" Uganda
happenings:
1) Celine Dion is majority of people's favorite artist (many of the
trucks play the Titanic theme song)
2) African time seems to be contagious. Not sure if I mentioned it
before, but if something is planned for the day, you add a few hours
on to when it's actually going to happen. If it's planned for the
week, add on a few days. The team here seems to be major fans of this
African time, and I'm not hating it as much as I used to.
3) Another board member of Childline was arrested this weekend... wish
I was kidding. He was allegedly also working with the Director and
embezzling funds. I guess this one isn't so funny... but we have all
had to turn it into a joke to make it seem not as bad. Even though
it's kind of horrible.
4) No one in the village seems to be able to pronounce my name, so my
second name has now become Ashla. Or Ashwey. Or Assley. Take your
pick.
5) Everyone here loves to play cards, but they only know one game. And
it's called Cards. It's crazy because seriously everyone, in whatever
village, town, or what have you, knows this game. So the only way to
play cards is to play Cards.
6) Instead of saying "welcome back" whenever we get back from working,
everyone says "We'll be back." We've tried to help them out with this
one, but it doesn't seem to translate. Also, just impersonating each
others accents has been entertainment in and of itself.
That's all I have for now--can't believe I'll be back in the States in
two weeks.
Sulabalunge!
may go into detail of what exactly I have been up to, I first want to
try and express some perspectives I have gained--if I can find myself
able.
During this experience, amongst the drama and chaos that became what
seemed like a soap opera in Mityana, it has been difficult for me to
really reflect and even understand the culture I have been a part of
for several weeks. I felt as though I was coasting through troubled
waters without even taking the time to acknowledge the waves and only
focusing on that piece of land ahead of me.
One thing I think I have recently realized is how fortunate many of us
are to have the privilege to care and to love. We are able to dig deep
inside of ourselves and create vulnerabilities in our hearts that
embrace and allow for genuine passion and emotion to be given towards
another human being. I think many of us often believe that these types
of feelings are innate human qualities, but I find myself begging to
differ. I do believe that we are all capable of expressing and feeling
the deepest kind of love and care towards one another, but what if we
have to first focus on surviving? First focus on eating, getting an
education, making something of ourselves in an environment that tells
us we may not be able to escape? Are we then truly capable of taking
the time to open our hearts in the way of care and the way of love?
What has made me think of this is not that love isn't present in this
country or culture, but that love is not at the forefront of most
actions. Finding a means to survive and finding a means to be accepted
in some way seems to be the focus. In a way, the concept of love is
almost unknown in many circumstances. To us, to a society that has a
fascination with love, this almost seems like an impossible
exaggeration. But it makes me think of how lucky I have been to have a
family who taught me how to love in every part of my life. How blessed
I am to have made myself vulnerable to all the types of love there is,
knowing that there is a reason we should continually care for one
another no matter what. When you aren't brought up knowing the
importance of such a feeling, can you be blamed for not seeking it?
Secondly, the importance of positive reinforcement has been an ever
present thought through this experience. A lot of the culture thrives
on authoritarian practices, especially within the school system. From
what I have observed, instead of being taught how to learn, the
students are taught how to come up with the right answers in order for
their teachers not to punish or chastise them. There are a lot of
practices that make most of the students hesitant to answer or even
talk, as they have been socially humiliated or scolded for producing a
wrong answer in the past. Through my teaching, it has been really
important for me to try and express the importance of trying and
knowing that getting a wrong answer isn't a bad thing, but something
that shows you are putting effort into learning and making
improvements. If students are being taught by negative reinforcement,
it seems like the true power of education and the culture of learning
is lost.
Finally, I have learned the importance of accountability and taking
initiative. As many people have expressed here, a lot of things in
this country are grounded in great theory and strong ideas are
continually developed. Many things are lost in the transition from
theory to action. If there is no follow-up, if there is no initiative
taking place to make these theories a reality, where will improvements
come from? It is so important to have those markers in your life,
whether through other people or your own internal motivations, that
remind you of your passion and what you are meant to do. We can talk
about our dreams and aspirations for days on end, but if we aren't
going to do anything about them, can they really be considered
aspirations?
I feel many parts of me have become more grounded upon these
observations, and I am sure there are many other things that I am
still not yet aware of. I do wonder how all of this will impact my
actions upon my return, and I might be one step ahead of myself in
thinking to those results.
It has been a whirlwind of a month and I continually find myself
taking a step back and trying my best to remind myself to evaluate and
really understand this experience I am within.
But, to end on a less serious notes, here are some more "funny" Uganda
happenings:
1) Celine Dion is majority of people's favorite artist (many of the
trucks play the Titanic theme song)
2) African time seems to be contagious. Not sure if I mentioned it
before, but if something is planned for the day, you add a few hours
on to when it's actually going to happen. If it's planned for the
week, add on a few days. The team here seems to be major fans of this
African time, and I'm not hating it as much as I used to.
3) Another board member of Childline was arrested this weekend... wish
I was kidding. He was allegedly also working with the Director and
embezzling funds. I guess this one isn't so funny... but we have all
had to turn it into a joke to make it seem not as bad. Even though
it's kind of horrible.
4) No one in the village seems to be able to pronounce my name, so my
second name has now become Ashla. Or Ashwey. Or Assley. Take your
pick.
5) Everyone here loves to play cards, but they only know one game. And
it's called Cards. It's crazy because seriously everyone, in whatever
village, town, or what have you, knows this game. So the only way to
play cards is to play Cards.
6) Instead of saying "welcome back" whenever we get back from working,
everyone says "We'll be back." We've tried to help them out with this
one, but it doesn't seem to translate. Also, just impersonating each
others accents has been entertainment in and of itself.
That's all I have for now--can't believe I'll be back in the States in
two weeks.
Sulabalunge!
Week One; Take Two
Friday, June 14, 2013
Everything at SOVHEN has definitely been falling into place, and I am
so relieved that this decision was the right one! I think it was
something I definitely needed after the crazy first month, and it is
exciting to know that after such an eventful beginning, there are only
more events to come.
So this week we began teaching at the primary school and working with
our houses at the secondary school.
The first thing I've learned so far is that the English language is
brutal. We seriously have to have some of the craziest rules, many
that I didn't even know existed, and I can imagine why it is so hard
for a lot of these students to get a grasp of it--I'm even having to
re-teach myself some of the basic things. I definitely feel the pain
learning this language brings. But, aside from this struggle, I think
the students are doing pretty well. I have P5 (about 12 years old) two
days of the week and they are kind of the hardest group to work with
because they struggle the most, but that's what makes me love them
more. It can be a bit frustrating because half the time it feels like
they have no idea what I am saying, but we did review of our lessons
this week and I think they finally got it! We always joke about
teaching and dealing with P5 because sometimes it seems like a lost
cause, but I am rooting for them and I am very determined to catch
them all up by the time I'm done with them!
Starting at the secondary schools has also gone well! We haven't done
too much with our houses and the competition yet, but they just
started learning a song that they showed me today and I am super
excited about. I also have to give a HUGE shout out to PeaceJam for
giving me literally every skill I would need to work with a group of
teenagers who think they are too cool for anything. I'm glad I have
that experience on my back to know when to play games, when to get
serious, and how to really break these students out of their shell.
What I think has been really cool about this group, and really all of
the schools here, is how much the students look up to their peer
leaders. They have a prefect system, as well as various house leaders,
and it is amazing how much everyone listens to these students. It's
kind of awesome. I definitely have some kids in my group who are
always my go to people and basically my interpreters, and having their
enthusiasm is all that is needed to get the group involved. It makes
me very hopeful of the leadership potenital many of these students
have, and I think it's a system that needs to me much more in place in
America.
Other than that, things are really going well here! It is definitely
still an adjustment, but I think these last three weeks are going to
make it all worth while.
Lastly, some funny moments:
1) Went to my first Ugandan club. HILARIOUS. The carpet, I kid you
not, was literally from a bowling alley.
2) Played Red Rover at the primary school, and two kids were
completely close-lined. Jenn, this one if for you, because my
inability to stop laughing at inappropriate moments definitely kicked
in.
3) We went to what they called a "beach" and it was pretty much a nice
lake with only grass. No sand. Very cold. Definitely not a typical
beach.
And, a diva moment. Things you all should greatly appreciate:
1) Toilet seats
2) Anything cold (I am having ice cream the second I arrive back home)
3) Washing your hair
4) Not having cell phones you have to buy minutes for
5) And, having clean feet.
Until next time, sulabalunge (goodnight)!
so relieved that this decision was the right one! I think it was
something I definitely needed after the crazy first month, and it is
exciting to know that after such an eventful beginning, there are only
more events to come.
So this week we began teaching at the primary school and working with
our houses at the secondary school.
The first thing I've learned so far is that the English language is
brutal. We seriously have to have some of the craziest rules, many
that I didn't even know existed, and I can imagine why it is so hard
for a lot of these students to get a grasp of it--I'm even having to
re-teach myself some of the basic things. I definitely feel the pain
learning this language brings. But, aside from this struggle, I think
the students are doing pretty well. I have P5 (about 12 years old) two
days of the week and they are kind of the hardest group to work with
because they struggle the most, but that's what makes me love them
more. It can be a bit frustrating because half the time it feels like
they have no idea what I am saying, but we did review of our lessons
this week and I think they finally got it! We always joke about
teaching and dealing with P5 because sometimes it seems like a lost
cause, but I am rooting for them and I am very determined to catch
them all up by the time I'm done with them!
Starting at the secondary schools has also gone well! We haven't done
too much with our houses and the competition yet, but they just
started learning a song that they showed me today and I am super
excited about. I also have to give a HUGE shout out to PeaceJam for
giving me literally every skill I would need to work with a group of
teenagers who think they are too cool for anything. I'm glad I have
that experience on my back to know when to play games, when to get
serious, and how to really break these students out of their shell.
What I think has been really cool about this group, and really all of
the schools here, is how much the students look up to their peer
leaders. They have a prefect system, as well as various house leaders,
and it is amazing how much everyone listens to these students. It's
kind of awesome. I definitely have some kids in my group who are
always my go to people and basically my interpreters, and having their
enthusiasm is all that is needed to get the group involved. It makes
me very hopeful of the leadership potenital many of these students
have, and I think it's a system that needs to me much more in place in
America.
Other than that, things are really going well here! It is definitely
still an adjustment, but I think these last three weeks are going to
make it all worth while.
Lastly, some funny moments:
1) Went to my first Ugandan club. HILARIOUS. The carpet, I kid you
not, was literally from a bowling alley.
2) Played Red Rover at the primary school, and two kids were
completely close-lined. Jenn, this one if for you, because my
inability to stop laughing at inappropriate moments definitely kicked
in.
3) We went to what they called a "beach" and it was pretty much a nice
lake with only grass. No sand. Very cold. Definitely not a typical
beach.
And, a diva moment. Things you all should greatly appreciate:
1) Toilet seats
2) Anything cold (I am having ice cream the second I arrive back home)
3) Washing your hair
4) Not having cell phones you have to buy minutes for
5) And, having clean feet.
Until next time, sulabalunge (goodnight)!
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